The Active Troops
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Rob joined Hook in 1998 for purely
altruistic reasons. His joining extended the Basingstoke
Boys driving roster by one more week giving each one more night
off for drinking. Also, he inherited the complete kit from one of those
rare beings, an ex-member who remembered to give it away.!
He claims that he got into Morris far too
late (all those nights getting drunk alone). Too late
to manage the dances, so yet another sad old git with a melodeon (no it's
me wheezing!) Like Bill
, he too plays for BasingClog Morris and shakes a
leg for Hook.
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One of the New Wave members of
2006, Jonathan is a purveyor of fine pharmaceuticals to anybody who can pay.
He's also tall, vicious, and recently disabled Tarantella's
drummer with a deft flick of the wrist. When not in Hook Eagle
kit, he prefers to be known as Ninja, so he is presumably used to dressing
in black and killing people. Just like a real morris man.
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Fisherman, rugby player, and chief barbecuist,
Geoff knows nothing about morris whatsoever. This makes him in many
ways the ideal squire, as he can concentrate on leadership and charisma
while the rest of us get on with the real work. He runs an engineering
company by day and a morris side by night.
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Andy is another member of the
2006 New Wave. A lorry driver by trade, he is on the road most of the
time and is the only person in the side not to have access to the Internet.
These means we can write all sorts of defamatory nonsense about him and he'd
never know. But being gentlemen, we shall refrain.
Oh, and that light in the middle of his forehead is for driving at night.
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Carol is not as blonde as you might think. She uses her natural
advantages in the aid of local charities to charm money from the pockets of eager young men in the audience.
Whistle player in the Hook Eagle Band, she can blow practically anything.
All for charitable reasons, of course.
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Now returned to his rightful
position as bagman, John is a dancer and all round
the Mrs Doubtfire of the side. He is responsible for keeping the dancers under
control and cross dressing when required. A highly successful PR
consultant running his own company (Proactive),
in 2006 he PR'd Hook Eagle into winning the prestigious EFDSS ST Georges Day
Promotion competition.
Running a PR sweatshop has its ups and downs: the lunches are fun but for business reasons he has now
had to learn how to lose at golf. He doesn't find this as hard as he
thought. .
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Dancing Cotswold with Bath City and Angel Morris of
Islington, John always wondered whether the hanky waving in between the
real dances with sticks could be omitted. One day he discovered that by an
amazing coincidence folk from the Welsh borders had had the same thought
only a few hundred years earlier. It was love at first sight and he is now
well and truly Hooked.
John knows all the dances backwards, but is working hard
to correct this. He can occasionally be spotted playing spoons which, he
says, fit more comfortably in his pocket than his guitar.
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Dave John
Dave is a well-known tart who has been had by
many sides. Having failed miserably at Cotswold (with Yateley Morris) he had
a go at Longsword and North West, and then put himself about a bit with Hart
and Sole (now defunct). He spent some years crying in the wilderness
before joining BasingClog, bringing his career to a peak by joining Hook
Eagle in 2004. He still peaks regularly on Fridays.
He tries to make amends to a world that misunderstands him by organising the
annual Christmas Clog tour. This raises thousands of pounds for
local charities. He's still going to hell, though.
Email Dave - click here
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John is another of the founder members of Hook Eagle Morris.
He was unfortunately expelled from the village of Hook after a bout of
marital strife (see
Ed) and still lives in exile in
North Warnborough.
By day John runs a successful plumbing business.
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Colon (The Knees) Barbarian never ceases to amaze us with his culinary expertise.
When most of us are just coping with a bacon sandwich on our campsite, Colin will be
tempting us with wafts of garlic and exotic spices. He can cook a four-course gourmet meal
in a single billy-can.
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Since the inception of Hook Eagle, Les has manfully hidden the fact that
he is a bit of an ace bagpipe player (thanks Les, keep it under wraps). Les is a dancer
and plays flute when in need of a rest and, yes, he does look like James Galway. Les's
other interests include Amateur Dramatics. He and his wife (the other Les Morrison) are
both active with Hook Players. He's now so old that he recently
retired. Unfortunately he discovered the pension didn't keep his beer
consumption in the style to which it had become accustomed, so he's had to
go out to work again.
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Jan is Head of History at St
Trinian's School for the Optimistic in Aldershot. Well-used to
handling testosterone-fuelled angst in teenage boys, she finds dealing
with Hook Eagle no problem at all. She keeps the unruliest in check
by deftly flicking that little round thing covered in skin. She
calls it "her tambourine".
When male company gets too much, she reverts to being a girlie with
JackStraws Morris.
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Pete is Hook Eagle's Forager, Collector of Sticks, Feathers, and anything
else which can be cut, borrowed, turned, milled, drilled, shot, hunted, culled or
harvested.
Pete plays a mean banjo. He is also active with
Mayflower Morris and used
to play
in
Tarrantella.
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Geoff is one of Hook's mainstay melodeon players and probably travels
further than any other member to get to practices. He is skilled in working with leather
and produces fine tankards which, to order, can have that most necessary of features: a
1.1 pint capacity.
Although he has a fine collection of squeeze boxes, Geoff's preference is for one-row
machines.
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Jim Sawyer
Jim the Cabin Boy single-handedly
represents the Next Generation of Hook Eagle. The son of an ex-squire
of Victory
Morris he decided at an early age that namby-pamby hank-flapping
Cotswold Morris was not for him and that all the real men were in Border
sides. Being an accomplished dancer and musician he scored highly in
the aptitude test and is currently the only member to have been granted a
central contract by the Hampshire Morris Board. This gives him the
right to dance or play at any Hook Eagle gig to which he turns up, and a
limited number to which he doesn't.
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Nine o'clock Nigel is not the
most punctual of people. He can always be relied on to arrive for a
7:30 gig by 9:00, though not necessarily on the same day. Large and
generous by nature, he largely dances with the side but generously plays
with the band.
Nigel came to Hook on free transfer from
Alton Morris, who recognised his
need to play his melodeon elsewhere. Unfortunately it's one of those
weak Italian Castignfetti things, so you can't hear him against the strong
and manly Hohners played by
the rest of the band .
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Strictly speaking, Graham is not a morris dancer. He is a musician,
photographer and international man of mystery. The mystery is mainly
concerned with why he thinks he's a musician, but he has recently been
installed as Hook's only full time male percussionist.
He specialises in
Cabassa, Tambourine and Nikon F1. The Nikon makes easily the best noise
when banged with a stick.
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Tony Shellard
There is very little to say
about Tony that can't be said better, and at greater length, by Tony
himself. A life-long Cotswold Morris Dancer, he joined Hook Eagle on
permanent loan from Pilgrim Morris in 2007 in a last ditch attempt to bridge
the yawning chasm between the two traditions.
Most of the 2007-2008 practice season was spent trying to cure him of his
little girly skippy Cotswold dancing habits, but with little success.
If these continue much longer we will quite simply beat him to death and
send the remains back to Pilgrim.
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Derek the Nutter (or DTN as he's
known) is a musician who plays melodeon very quickly. Where most melodeon
players have been known to leave out the odd note, Derek invents places to
put in extra notes, all of which sounds great but leaves the dancers
exhausted.
The Nutter will also dance when he has to, but claims his fingers are now
too valuable to risk as he has a ceilidh band
Tarrantella who are
nothing without him . He has also
been a Morris Tart in sides such as Rampant Rooster, Fleet Morris, Shinfield
Shambles and others.
We don't think that Derek has a day job as he's intolerant to daylight as well as garlic,
crucifixes and running water. Don't let this man pass in front of a mirror!
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Maggie Tarrant
Maggie - or Mrs Nutter to her husband Derek - is
yet another whistle player on the Hook Eagle Band. What is it with
women and blowing and banging things? Her day job is playing melodeon
with Fleet Morris - a local
ladies side who presumably don't want blowing or banging.
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"Anne, The Nutter's Sister-in-law" is an ex-member of Shinfield
Shambles and stalwart of the Hook Wall of Sound, Anne is an excellent fiddle player who
also plays in
Tarrantella with Derek the Nutter. Anne's photo is wider than it is deep - this
is to allow full inclusion of her fiddle-arm.
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Graham Taylor
Graham is the man with the oldest knees in Morris
dancing and can often be seen hobbling along behind the set. When
brave, manly Border Morris gets too much he can be seen doing a bit of
rapper, but spends most of his time offering sweeties and alcoholic drinks
to underage girls. (No - not underage in that sense. You must
bear in mind that Graham is 103 and therefore anything below 80 is
underage.) Candy is dandy, but liquor certainly is quicker.
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Mandy Whittaker
is the mother of the twins (right) who play as guest percussionists in the
band. She is multi-talented and plays a
variety of wind instruments (see Martin Whittaker
below) and Melodeon. One of the more petite members of the Hook Wall of
Sound, she makes her presence felt in her active management of many of our
social events.
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Martin is the brains behind the selection of Hook Eagle Music and is another ace Musician
(melodeon and unlicensed trombone), Rastafarian and the Team's thinker.
Quote: "I'd prefer to be
referred to as a "multi-talented trombone maestro who should have been a
seminal influence on Jamaican music in the past three decades"."
Previously played with Yateley,
Fleet, Mayflower, Iffy,
Jenny Geddes and Wrigley
Head, or so he thinks.
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Rob number 3
is a look-alike of Normski and
Les but smaller slimmer model - evidence of
Darwinian natural selection at work in the Morris world.
A miserable little tripehound
at the best of times, and a pain in the a?se at all others*. Maker
of jingle-sticks and jackets, Rob also juggles, stiltwalks and plays drums
in Derek's ceilidh band (Tarrantella)
- though not all at the same time.
*his own words
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The Reservists
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Gareth Kiddier Gareth is
Lifetime Foreman of Music Hook Eagle Morris. He
plays Accordion although he's now on a course of Hormone Replacement Therapy which we hope
will provide a cure. "Do you need a light for that box Gareth?"
A well-booked ceilidh caller, and stalwart of Bismarks dance band, this man has some
strong views on formalising the relationships between the Hook Musicians and Dancers - See his page for these.
Gareth is allowed out occasionally to earn a crust, which he does with a major
Information Technology company where he does something very important (but is severely
underpaid!)
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Mike is a bit of country
member (I think that's what they said!). He is a dancer and occasional musician
(Melodeon, whistles and Bodhran - oh no!). He is also secretary of the Seven
Champions Molly Dancers and is a member of the Loose
Women's Band. He has been spotted in the past with Dubai Sharjah Morris,
The One and Only Iffy Morris and Belchamp Morris Men.
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Tim is a Musician (Accordion) and Dancer and is seen above wearing the
latest Clare Rayner style of headwear which gives him freedom, confidence and freshness: A
hat with wings!
Tim is another founder member of Hook Eagle Morris, although he currently
enjoys "country" membership.
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Currently enjoying "country
membership", Roger was a dancer and is an extremely competent Bodhran player.
He has, in the past,
managed to turn Hook Eagle into a passable imitation of Lemmings with his masterful
rendition of "The Whale Song". Twenty black-faced dancers flinging
themselves off a cliff in suicidal desperation was a sight to behold.
Roger has disappeared into a Celtic fantasy somewhere in the north of the
British Isles. Find out what he's doing at
www.flukejewellery.com .
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Jameson has now returned to his
day job - dancing with Berkshire Bedlam. He also plays drums for Windsor
Morris and
has been spotted leaping about on his own at Sidmouth - this is the jig
competition, not the incident with the flannel and the camping lamp.
[We've been asked to remove some of the more scurrilous info from here as
potential partners keep Googling him and finding it. If you're one
of these, contact the webmaster for the truth].
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Nick, the Nutter's Brother, has more hair than most of us and is a very sensible dancer
who has been known to do an odd Cotswold spot (a very odd Cotswold spot).
Nick Earns his meagre crust doing something unfeasibly technical with Personal Computers.
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Tim is an accomplished Cotswold Morris dancer, a skill which is of no
use whatsoever in Hook. However, after an extensive period of limb
reprogramming he has found his place - buying drinks for the rest of
us.
When not with Hook, he spends his leisure time Humping with his wife.
Yes - they are both members of Hump Morris, one of England's foremost
politically correct mixed Cotswold sides and once featured on the BBC's
Food and Drink Programme. No wonder he joined Hook.
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Most of our current repertoire of non-traditional
dances are the results of Richard's warped mind. As well as being an
accomplished Workshop
Leader (Sidmouth '96), he also played a mean tambourine. Richard had previously been a
"Cotswold Man" with Yateley Morris. He was also a member of
the Mayflower Morris band.
Sadly, Richard passed away on the 28th August 2000. He was much loved and
will be sadly missed.
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Having, at last, escaped from
The Motley Morris of Kent, Martin can now be seen dancing with Hook Eagle
Morris. This is when he's not away doing strange water-based
activities. Martin took two hours to learn all of the Hook dances -
this is, he claims, because they were all nicked from Motley in the first
place! "Ooooooh Ref".
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Joined in the 1999 season. Craig is a man with several dark
secrets. Firstly, he doesn't drink beer; secondly, he works for a
government agency. Thirdly, he took a trip to Berlin dressed in
women's clothing.
Obviously this caused us a great deal of concern and he
was investigated thoroughly by the Hook Eagle Vetting Department. It
turned out he drank cider in preference to beer so he was admitted to the
side.
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Having spent many of his early
years with Hook as the side's only part-time
alcoholic, Will can now be seen nursing pints of orange squash and
muttering foul imprecations into his
beard. He spends much of his leisure time as a
melodeon player for BasingClog Morris.
However, when it comes to Hook, Will is
indeed a gentleman: he can play melodeon but chooses not to. Apparently
too many melodeons can be a bad thing (which
came as a shock to the rest of the band).
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Ed is the most conservation and tradition-minded dancer in the side. He
manages to recycle jokes and patter that were once popular in the middle ages (I say, I
say, my dog has no nose etc....). A keen angler, his love of the Basingstoke Canal extends
to the point of having ended up in it on his bicycle after a long and tiring dance
session. Ed is one of the founder members of Hook Eagle Morris.
He was unfortunately expelled from the village of Hook after a bout of
marital strife (see
Lambo) and still lives in exile in Fleet.
( I say, I say, my dog has no dictionary!... How does
he........)
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Jonathan Still
Jon is the second vicar to dance with the side,
and the first to do so without carrying a clove of garlic and a crucifix
while doing it. He joined as part of he and his wife's decision to try
some of England's finest ancient and most threatened customs. He's
tried two so far: morris dancing, and being a
CofE vicar.
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Rob is one of Hook's larger
dancers. He shouts a lot and complements Ed's banter with occasional original stuff. He is responsible
more most of the recent drivel to be found on this site and for the
editorial cant which can be found in this season's very rare and inexpensive
programme.
Rob also shouts a lot for Jackstraws Morris.
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When he can get a break from playing for
(with?) Jackstraws,
Norm is one of Hook's ace musicians. He is also a dancer. Sometimes, when we have been
short of performers, Norm has managed to play and dance at the same time - a feat for
which he usually insists on payment in strong ale. That the sun continues to shine and the
corn continues to grow is Norm's main reason for performing the Morris. He is also an
ex-smoker - well done Norm!
(Latest - he's now an ex-ex-smoker. Well done again!)
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Aaaaah!!
Graphic designed and created by © Catherine Walton
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Copyright
© Hook Eagle Morris
Last updated
09 May 2008
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